The Mystical, Magical, Annual Presidential Health Checkup
I’m not sure if Trump can sue Walter Reed National Military Medical Center for $10 billion in damages for leaked medical information that showed he never actually had bone spurs.
But that worked elegantly at the Internal Revenue Service, so why not?
That settlement produced terms that were, to put it as mildly as a serving of cottage cheese, extraordinarily broad and controversial.
So far, we learned that Trump agreed to drop the $10 billion lawsuit, which is his go-to agreement when he gets what he wants. No president in our nation’s history has done so, but it might just be a shortage of hutzpah in presidential DNA.
Abraham Lincoln famously said, “A nation divided against itself cannot stand.” Had he merely rephrased that to “I will sue the Confederacy for $10 billion unless they free the slaves,” we might well have avoided the Civil War.
Lincoln himself was a lawyer, so it’s unclear how he missed this opportunity.
Anyway, as part of Trump’s deal, the Justice Department created an “Anti-Weaponization Fund” of roughly $1.8 billion, ostensibly to compensate people alleging politically motivated government targeting.
Really?
That’s what government does, is politically target its citizens. In government’s new and Trumpian iteration, why else would we have one?
In other words, with two out in the 9th inning, and the bases loaded, the IRS allowed the visiting team to bunt in the tying run, and then lose the game by an errant throw to third base. Coming to bat at the final half-inning, Trump struck out the side with a $10 billion pitcher.
And, as the grandstand emptied, here came the clincher…
An addendum signed by Acting Attorney General, flavor-of-the-month Todd Blanche, barred the IRS from pursuing audits or tax claims involving Trump, his family, or affiliated businesses for any tax returns filed before May 18, 2026.
The language reportedly said matters that “were raised or could have been raised” were permanently closed.
The agreement also reportedly included a formal government apology connected to the tax-return leaks.
Why ‘reportedly?’
Have we not seen the document?
No direct cash payment was reportedly made personally to Trump through the settlement itself, though critics argued the audit waiver could be worth enormous sums if disputed tax liabilities were never revisited.
If you think this article wandered too quickly away from Trump’s phony-baloney medical checkup, you are on-the-money. I’m guilty on both counts.
But this is a presidency both mystical and magical.
One never knows which rabbit will be pulled out of the hat…and now…
…about those bone spurs